CaRoL's Thoughts Carol's say
This is just a place for me to pen my thoughts and beautiful things or even people... It can be about anyone or everyone... Or it can be of nobody.
I am... Addictive, Imaginative, experimentive, rebellious, Bitchy, Extroverted/Social, Flirtatious, Funny, Intellectual, Loving, Romantic, Serious, Flamboyant, Demure Cravings... Beauty of all living or non-living, DayDreaming of the impossible, Chauvinist to rule my world, Life at the end of the rainbow, Love that station me at cloud eleven, Sex that last for eternity. For thoughts As the sun rises from the far eastern horizon, so will her hopes together; embracing another new day to soar through the endless skies only to fall past the distinct line that seperates earth and heaven to pave way for the diamond strewn velvet night sky where her dreams will take its rightful place... Archives September 2005 Thanks for reading. =) hidden hit counter |
Thursday, July 31, 2008 8:40 PM  I heard my heart bleed the other night. Softly as if it worried... Worried that I might hear it. I followed the sound of the dripping blood. Right down the alley dark. Hiding at the deep depth of the shadow. Trembling in fright. She turns as I approached. I saw an open wound. She tried to cover with her hands. Blood was seeping through. I saw tears that night. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't stabbed myself. I just can't helped it. I lose the control of my hands. It just.... happened." She said with choking tears. I kneed down and cuddled her into my arms... Smoothing her fear with each stroke my hand... "It happened because you missed him." I smiled at her... "But you are healing fine. This happened once a while." She looked at me, wiping her tears. "You sure?" I nodded, pointing at her wound. "See? The bleeding had stopped." Wednesday, July 30, 2008 4:38 PM  My limits were tested tonight. I can't helped but to wonder why. Because I was questioned when I did the same. Questioning reasons for complicating matters. You cradled me into your arms that night. It's a night that I will rememeber. But tonight... I just wanna be yours. =) Tuesday, July 29, 2008 10:29 PM  Wedding bells are ringing.Sending romance all over the place. Beautiful veil and hand held roses. Wedding bands indication of promises. A promise till death do us part. It's the day that one will also remember. Holding hands and smiling at the camera Passer by sending wishes. Friends and family stood by. Passing tissues and love. I send my most sincere wishes to the couple above. May all the love you both have for each other, remains forever. I wish a love that will live forever in both your hearts. Note: The above photo is my favourite little friend, Shermin and her hubby. 要辛福噢！ Monday, July 28, 2008 11:29 PM  It felt like the first time. Smiling to myself as I was walking down the lane. Inhaling in the fresh air. Listening to the whistling of freshly cut grasses Happy. Happy. Happy. Smiling at random people. They returned my smile. The beaming sun is smiling. Birds chirping away. I saw a newly wed couple. I love the looks on their faces. They look very happy. They smile at me. I smile back. I love holiday~ Sunday, July 27, 2008 10:35 PM  I had craving for chocolate cake of all the sudden.Like how I had craving for you tonight. Shops are closed; phones are dead. Enduring with the craving. I longed for it like how I never felt before. The tenderness and softness of each and every bite. Sweetness filled the whole mouth, Tingling every pores available. It just makes you feel loved. Like being in your arms. I miss you. 6:25 AM  A night spent at Mount Faber.The air is cool and clear. You taught me a lessons on confident. When it comes to Love... It no longer matter what or who you are. Love will break you down. When it comes to Truth... Your conscious will break you down You stood firm to what you want. I smiled. As we moved to Labrador Park. Strolling along the coastline, You insisted on what you requested. I smiled for a moment(s) too much. I wanna give up on people around and just be with you. You are a sweetheart. Thou confessions have been made, Things have changed. Maybe I should learn to trust again. Maybe I should love again. Maybe it's time to move on. Too many maybe in this world. I left you heartbroken. I know you won't give up. I heard all your promises. But I won't let you down. I will pass with flying colours. All I need is time. Saturday, July 26, 2008 6:23 AM  I miss you... A little too much today. I wonder why. Thursday, July 24, 2008 10:02 PM  Random people of all sort exist in this world. But mainly is good or bad. I met a jerk. A two faced bastard. Committed a crime and push the blame. Is that how you love? Neither pissed or upset. Despite hating his guts, I pity him. Words of hatred and anger of all kinds Hidden underneath is a pathetic soul. Refusing to admit to reality. Dwelling in this mud calling it his home. Seeking God for forgiveness every week. I hope he understands and help you. I'll say a little prayer for you tonight. Amen. 7:49 PM  我要嫁给你。People are getting married. Wedding bugs are everywhere. I want to get married. I want to be your bride... Will you.. Marry me? Wednesday, July 23, 2008 6:44 PM  Listening to the smooth sound of melody. Staring out the the blue clear sky. Feelings starts to dance around in my mind. Tear drops slide down my face. " Your Love is bubbles... Not within reach... My Love is like the sky... Yet you are like the wind. You came but you chose freedom over me. And I never question why." Acts are replayed with the same melody. Some things are not meant to be. Words are lies. Heartache with thoughts. Yet it's worthwhile. A ride home, my positions are set. Lines are drawn. It will be "I love you." And nothing more. And I meant.. Nothing more. Tuesday, July 22, 2008 6:37 PM Hey... =) I just wanna let you know...            =)**Wishful thinking.. Monday, July 21, 2008 7:42 PM  Opportunities are plentiful. Depends how much you want that particular. Not forgetting that at times, we'll be at a crossroad. Fighting between the Needs and Wanted. Thinking that I found a perfect chance. Coming with a perfect leader. But indeed, I was wrong. All the way to the basic. I can no longer move far. Burden that I'm carrying is way too much. Stress is pushing and I'm breaking. Wanting to move back. I can't. "Live with it or Quit." I love your fuck care attitude. But... I dont need yours when I have mine. Sunday, July 20, 2008 9:35 PM  "They display calories burnt, total number of lifts and exercise time and use water as weight resistance. They weight 2lb each and require 3 x AAA batteries. As you use them they talk to you giving you information and facts about your workout."Dumbbells. Ever wonder why they are called that? "The dumbbell (or dumb-bell) was at first an apparatus for swinging a church bell. Since it was the apparatus for ringing the bell, but not the bell itself, it was noiseless or 'dumb'. Moving this apparatus to ring the church bell was considered difficult physical exercise. Practice was required to develop the strength and skill to handle the apparatus to ring a heavy church bell. So bars made of metal or wood with a rounded knob at each end were created in pairs to be held and swung for practicing for this duty. Shortly thereafter, dumbbells came into use for general calisthenic exercise. Weights mounted on each end of a steel bar later also became known as barbells (or bar-bells)." Why did I blog about this out of a sudden? Because I was wondering why a "Dumb" word attached to it. Even when it had such a word to be it's first name, it had created many famous weight lifting champions. People who train have trained hard with them and be someone successful. It's just how interesting that people can play around with words. Did the slightest ever idea occurs to you that the swing of a churches' bell can create into something like that? Sometime, people just judge too much. 10:49 AM  I'll illustrate my recent experiences to a bakery shop in a fairytale land based on the re-enactment thoughts that have been running through my mind.The "Feel" presence when I'm out with you is too magical to be describe in practical wordings. The "Missing" grown so tremendously that it hurts when I blink my eyes. The "Affection" between us was beautifully sewn closed by Cupid's needle and thread. I'm experiencing too much of an overdose. Sugar and spices and spells of love. The smell of sweet love flood the whole town in this magical paradise.. Cupcakes, chocolate cakes and everything nice. I was painted a beautiful pictorial by a magical smiling brush. Colours and more colours, added in by indefinite of rainbows. Too unbelievably true. Asked on that grin on my face? "It's Fairytale", I said. Friday, July 18, 2008 4:18 PM  "今天从杂志里看到一篇文章, 里头有讲到如果被要求分手, 请别问为什么. --因为那会让你看更可怜.. 然后我想 - 谁不想潇洒地离开, 谁希望把自己弄得朅斯抵里, 让自己看起来这样不堪. 只是我们都不想错过一些本来可以抓住的东西, 毕竟人生就只有那么一次而已. 那个'为什么'所包含的除了是想知道原因的欲望, 大部分应该就是希望被怜悯的恳求. 以为眼泪可以换来他那么一点点心疼, 可是却忘记他的心早就在他决定分手那刻走了. 我们不会笨得去相信他的离开只是 '为你好' ,'不想浪费你的时间' , 又或是 '我配不上你' 等等的借口. 不走,可能只是让你再狠狠地劃多几刀好让我们真正地死心... 等着有一天看他摇着尾巴回来懇求那一刻, 然后才会真正地放." Copied from a sweetheart... Because it's so true.... Thursday, July 17, 2008 6:37 PM  我需要这样一个男人...
6:31 PM  圣经上说，无名指的血液流向心脏， 而其他的手指的血则不会流向心脏。 因此，人们就认为左手无名指的血液是和心脏相通互流的。 把戒指戴在无名指就是把爱情放在心上， 戒指套住了你我的心，心心相通相融， 犹如一个圆今生今世用不分离。 圣经其实也骗人…… 然而人们都在自欺欺人…… Wednesday, July 16, 2008 8:17 PM  Bubbles Some bubbles rise up to the sky Some bubbles don’t I don’t know why Easily popped by just one touch Easily missed by way to much Silent and round as we make it Being forgotten bit by bit Weaker and weaker as it grows That is what happens, I suppose Of all the ones that we condemn We don’t remember all of them Even when we continue to grow We still wonder where they go 7:41 PM  I have added a chatbox at the bottom left corner... Chat with me ok? *Love. Tuesday, July 15, 2008 4:15 AM  即使没有王子, 我依然是公主. 咖啡依旧是香醇的， 生活依旧是美好的， 就算给我再大的城堡， 我也不会去做感情的奴隶。 就算没有王子， 我依旧是个骄傲的公主... 继续着一个人的童话. Monday, July 14, 2008 4:55 PM 布娃娃的泪  他的眼睛象水晶一样透明闪亮，是一种我从来没有见过的光彩。 他微微的冲我笑，他的笑容干净而美好，但是，他不说话。 我的眼泪凉凉的流下来。 情人的眼泪。 真的没有想到， 我竟然会如此洒脱的离开， 一滴泪也没有流…… 曾经幼稚而固执的以为， 只要有付出，就一定会有回报。 于是我用尽全力去爱你。 我的内心是多么渴望他在这样的泪水下动容，我希望他可以替我檫掉眼泪，轻言软语的安慰。 我一点都不明白，都说眼泪是女子最好的杀伤武器，男人天生缺少对眼泪的免疫。 娃娃给我说了个故事。。。 曾经年少轻狂的我不知道什么是珍贵，直到有天，我回忆过去，我才知道眼泪的味道是咸的。。。 第一次她在你面前流眼泪，肩膀轻轻的抖动，纯真的脸庞和长长的睫毛上沾满了晶莹的泪水，幽怨的眼睛看着你。你觉得这是一幅异常动人的画面。你突然有点激动有点兴奋，内心中更是隐约的充斥某种莫名的快感。 因为这是她第一次在你面前失去自我，这是她第一次为你流眼泪。短暂的快感后你感觉到心痛，这个女孩子的眼泪好像流到了你的心里让你不可抑制的酸楚。此刻，她在你眼里成了世界上最无助的女孩，就像一只受伤的小兽需要你安慰。你顿时慌了手脚。 你摸出面纸，毛手毛脚的擦去她的眼泪，把纸巾放在她鼻子上温柔的哄她擤鼻涕，然后搂她如怀，不许任何东西伤害到她，可是她还是哭，于是泪水流进你的胸膛。 第二次她在你面前流眼泪，眼泪大滴大滴的落下。她不动手去擦它们，就孤独的站在那里。你悄悄的从侧面看她，她就像背负了一世的伤痛，泪水清冽的淌下。 你的心因之震颤。你揽住她瘦弱的身体，在她耳边轻轻的说乖不哭。她把脸贴在你的脸上，于是你的脸上沾上她的泪水。你偷偷伸出舌头舔了一下唇角，有她的眼泪，是咸的…… 第三次她在你面前流眼泪，你暗自思忖女人的眼泪果然多，这个女孩的承受能力好差。你无语的递上纸巾，看她自己把脸上的泪水擦干净，然后低头说对不起。她红着眼睛哽咽的回答没事。你平静的对上她的眼睛，注视她。你的心平静如水…… 她依旧在你面前哭泣，你不晓得她究竟在想什么，你以为没有伤害到她，你不明白她的疼痛。她打电话的时候会哭，坐在车里会哭，在饭馆吃饭也会哭。她哭的次数越多你越无动于衷。你不说一句话，平静的等待她哭完。后来你的脑子里出现一个念头，她的眼泪不代表疼痛…… 你只看到她在你面前流眼泪，你可知道在无人的地方、在家里的床上……她孤独的为你流眼泪，她坐在地板上，她用被子蒙住脸。她不会把泪水流进心里，因为心只会滴血…… 你可知道她无数次的告诫自己最后一次为你流眼泪，可知道无数个哭泣的夜晚过后她用冷水洗脸把冰块放在红肿的眼皮上，别人问她眼睛为什么肿了她的回答是睡觉前喝了太多的水…… 她曾经哭着对你说不会有第二个男人拥有她的眼泪，你一笑置之。你以为是气话，你错了。无论别的女人怎样，她，只能真正的痛彻的爱一个男人，她没有精力没有足够的泪水给生命中每一个陪伴她的男人。 如今她还是会哭泣，只是不会像从前那样放肆的流眼泪。因为她已经知道泪水在你的眼里是多么的廉价，她极力的控制自己，在心里反复的念着别哭。 她是一个情绪化的女孩子。不懂得如何不让眼泪流出。 她为你哭仅仅是因为爱你，她流眼泪是因为感觉疼痛。 终于有一天，你不再拥有她。她离开你。你终于失去她。多少年过去，年少的情感伤痛卤莽轻狂都被你封锁在记忆的最深处。当你躺在病榻上回忆过去……你不经意的再次打开尘封的记忆不期然的想起她，想起曾经陪伴她的岁月，想起她的笑靥和你拥抱过的柔软年轻的身体，想起她笑着把一条领带戴在你的脖颈上。 想起你们的欢笑和争执。终于你想到她泪眼婆娑的明眸，想起她的眼泪。你忽然发现那竟是她留给你的最清晰、最真实的回忆…… 我笑了。 加油，公主 Sunday, July 13, 2008 6:56 AM  Setting sun or a Raising sun? There is two possibilities.. Which will you view it? Why? Mostly I guess, would prefer the raising sun... Because it's the beginning of a brand new day. True?  I prefer the setting sun... It marks the end of the day. If you are happy, there will be a day you look forward to be happy again. If you are sad, the day is pretty much over,be glad. So ya... What's your view...? =) Friday, July 11, 2008 5:35 PM  "I do... " "Now I don't..." "And I'm pretty clear about that..." This marks the end. This are the few words that will be engraved in me forever. Because that is your definition of Love. 6:51 AM (Click for better view)  Feeling that was never sent. Not that there wasn't an opportunity... But there was not a chance... Thursday, July 10, 2008 11:20 PM  I have waited and never give up. Even when everyone had left for good. Longing for the sky to be blue. I burst out crying, finally. I'm tired. Life had not been the same but you aren't coming back. That is for sure. Unable to accept fact that. Fighting on with the scarecrows. Build me a shelter. Like how you used to do. Give your thoughts some chance. Tell me you didn't leave. Maybe you have... Maybe I should move on... Tuesday, July 08, 2008 10:49 PM  Hear of this? Someone play it on random... That's Why You Go Away Baby won't you tell me why There is sadness in your eyes I don't wanna say goodbye to you Love is one big illusion I should try to forget But there is something left in my head You're the one who set it up Now you're the one to make it stop I'm the one who's feeling lost right now Now you want me to forget Every little thing you said But there is something left in my head I won't forget the way you're kissing The feeling so strong were lasting for so long That's why you go away I know You were never satisfied No matter how I tried Now you wanna say goodbye to me Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere Don't know which way to go There ain't so much to say now between us There ain't so much for you There ain't so much for me anymore Monday, July 07, 2008 4:29 PM  I miss you. 1:36 PM A Summary of Everything. Interestingly, all are expressed into this 3 songs. (Click the picture above the lyric if you want to know how it sounds like. =})  最近 你最近不说话 怎么了，为什么 你想要的我却不能够给你我全部 我能给的却又不是你想要拥有的 我们不适合也不想认输 你常解释是这样的一切都只是开始 不想再约束 不要再痛苦 下一次会有更好的情路 这一次我们都能很幸福
很想说有你是幸福的 很想说会好好疼你的 爱了 就有坚持理由 很想说你是否听见了  手放开我把自己关起来只留下一个阳台 每当天黑推开窗我对着夜幕发呆 看着往事一幕一幕 再次演出你我的爱 我把电视机打开听着别人的对白 我把收音机打开听着别人的失败 Sunday, July 06, 2008 1:43 PM I shall be single... 夜里难以入睡用什么可以麻醉 情绪太多 怎堪面对 不是不要你陪 有些事你无法体会 卸下了防备 孤独跟随 能够好好想想我们之间的明天 如果爱情不如我们想像的甜美那么 所有的罪让我來背 我的心太乱 要一些空白 你若是明白 让我暂时的离开 我的心太乱 不敢再谈更多爱 想哭的我却怎么哭也哭不出來 我的心太乱 要一些空白 老天在不在 忘了为我來安排 我的心太乱 害怕爱情的背叛 想哭的我 像是一个迷路的小孩 迷路的小孩 Saturday, July 05, 2008 3:12 PM  Feeling beyond description for the first time. The worst encounter ever. 3 months of plain sweet courtship, then came dessert. Marking the end already? Going through all efforts to prove that you are more eligible. What for? Feeling so screwed, my eyes barely close for a minute or two. Worried yet upset. Messaged and called led to no reply. Enduring the sound of a broken heart to finish your gift. Thinking it will be fine. Soon. Because you never let me wait too long. You promised. When the first blood drop is draw from my finger tip... I broke down. Tears flows. Who really cares. Do you? Will you? 4 am... I wonder. Will I be noticed? With friends around.. Work stress.. Tirednes... The weight scale of anger and worried is unbalanced. It's not me. Are you safe...? At times.. I wish I'm 14. Believing everything without a doubt. But how to get through a line when it's off... Tears fell once again. Looking at the stuffs that was made.. Meant to explain. Explain how grateful I was to you.. Every single stitch... All doesn't mean anything now. One night of heartache. You once said, "You and I both know you are not strong... That's whyI'm here. And we both know it's a passing phrase... But it'll take sometime though. Give yourself another week, probably you'll not even remeber that it happened...." I read the between the lines. It says, "I'll be here, no matter what and I wont let you go through the same phrase again." Maybe it's my own view again. But... Ya... Most probably I won't anymore. I will get drunk tonight. With some random guy tonight. Anyone wants to join? Friday, July 04, 2008 4:01 PM  总是有人猜 我们不会爱到老我要自己听过就忘了 爱属于我们 不会受到干扰 只要自己用心感受 相知的美好 别人怎么说 我们全都听不到 只要自己相信你就好 如果说我幸福 又有隐约的孤独 相信你吗 还爱我吗 越来越模糊 是谁爱得多 谁有爱得少 可以不比较 可是能不能别让我感觉 你随时会逃 假如有一天在你心中 有别的人比我更重 要告诉我 千万别让我最后一个才知道 1:17 PM  Life is unpredictable at time.Roads seems clear at some point but blurred before you know it. Familiarity is comforting when other don't appreciate your effort. Even leading to nowhere, it's a risk, most would try. Because it's comforting. Making your choice and sticking to it somehow, don't always work. When once again, you have been taken for granted. Knowing the situation, consideration is given. Growing up responsible is learnt, but that comes with independent. It's a learning process which wider the gap and deepen the cut. I can't feel you anymore. Thursday, July 03, 2008 1:45 PM  I dislike pretentious people There are just some people in life that will pissed the shit outta of you. The have two side of face, maybe three or maybe four. Say that it's just my kinda unluckiness to have people like that. They can be licking everyone's ball while polishing on theirs shoes. Call them fucker, they will moan at you. The true colour will only be out when the big man aren't around. Tell that's normal? The more I hear, verbal diarrhoea. Their mouth is just assholes. Seriously disgusting. Excuses are given. Maybe due to any reason... I'm sure the young chick are bounds to learn. When the old hen misbehaved. So now I know... Why some don't talk. They're praying.... That, all these idiots, will burn in hell. FUCK YOU! . Wednesday, July 02, 2008 1:17 PM  要说什么 杯子都已经空了 闭上眼睛心里下起大雪 天寒又地冻 是不是到了 爱情结帐的时候 只剩下各自买单的寂寞 为什么当我推开门 他没有来拉住我 他还不懂 还是不懂 离开是想要被挽留 如果开口那只是 我要来的温柔 他还不懂 永远不懂 一个拥抱能代替所有 爱绝对能够动摇我 要用什么融化这一片沉默 在四周的冷空气里叹息 化成烟飘走 过去的种种 在心里滚成雪球 怕还没说话 泪就会先流 爱不是他给得不多 是不知道我要什么 他还不懂还是不懂 离开是想要被挽留 如果开口那只是 我要来的温柔 他还不懂永远不懂 一个拥抱能代替所有 爱绝对能够动摇我 都是背了太多的心愿 流星才会跌的那么重 爱太多 心也有坠毁的时候 他还不懂 还是不懂 离开是想要被挽留 如果开口那只是 我要来的温柔 他还不懂永远不懂 一个拥抱能代替所有 爱绝对能够动摇我 在第一时间拯救我 |
